I have a gambling problem. I cannot leave the market. I cannot forget about losses. I will quit this game.
For one year I have been waiting for this market to crash. Since June last year I have mostly been short this market. Yes, I am an idiot. Yesterday I covered my shorts and went long just for a little scalp. Today I had classes and could not attend the market opening. The stops were in and all. I SHOULD HAVE SOLD AT OPEN. I WAS GAMBLING ON GETTING A FEW POINTS AT THE OPEN. When I can home the market was down 1%. I cancelled my stops to give some room. The other day I got thrown out of a trade by stops, when the trade was actually a good one. This is a road to disaster. The market tanked. With me ON THE WRONG SIDE. I WAS LONG FOR THE FUCKING FIRST TIME THIS YEAR, AND THE MARKET TANKS 9%. MOTHERFUCKER. I sold my position at about 8% loss. I thought it was over, but my motherfucking internet provider cut me off. When i got back online the price had dropped 10% more (on my papers). I was stuck. Later in the day it rallied back up to where I initially had gotten out. A good place to get out? Yes. Did I? No. “The rally was quite strong, we might see rallying tomorrow”. FUCK YOU YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER. WHO THE FUCK IS BUYING INTO THIS MARKET NOW!
I am sick. I am demotivated with my school, I am exhausted in general and I have a gambling problem. I will have to recover the little that is left, and get on with my life. Maybe one day I will go back to trying trading again.
